A big helping of gratitude for the holidays

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Who doesn’t love a good list? Who's not thankful for at least something this holiday season? If you answered ‘no’ to one or more of these questions, this month’s editorial just might not be for you. If you’re a thankful list-lover like your esteemed, balding, middle-aged optometric editor, enjoy!

1. I’m thankful that Hurricane Helene didn’t hit my hometown of Augusta in the middle of July. The only saving grace was that my office’s roof didn’t get destroyed in the blistering heat. I’m also thankful for property insurance, which is quite useful until you need to file a claim.

2. I’m thankful for my staff, especially my new licensed optician. I was hesitant about hiring someone a lot older than me, as the last person in her age bracket who worked here eternally thought that I was nine years old.

3. I’m thankful for being back on a certain insurance provider list. After a clerical error on their part, it only took just over 4 months to get me reinstated. Thanks!

4. I’m thankful for -7.00 diopter myopes. It’s good to know there are people out there with worse vision than mine. Misery truly loves company.

5. I’m thankful for the history professor who came in here basically ridiculing me for the fact that glasses were invented because people would have adapted and gotten less nearsighted without them.

6. Remember the history professor from #5? I’m also thankful for the irony that a history professor didn’t know what they did to myopes who couldn’t be productive citizens in early antiquity. I’m thankful I was the one who got to tell him.

7. I’m thankful for families who no-show with no warning. How else would I have time to sort invoices, pay bills, do minor repairs around the office, argue with insurance about my roof, write editorials, and watch the weather channel like it’s a TV show?

8. I’m thankful for the bill I got at the office for $65 for my father no-showing to a medical appointment in 2023. In their defense, I had only given his eulogy 3 month’s prior. After a brief phone call, the bill was forgiven.

9. I’m thankful for Craig, who comes in once a year for his comprehensive eye exam. I’m even more thankful for the fact that he brews his own beer and brings me some every year. 2024’s black IPAs were delicious! Chef’s kiss in Craig’s direction!

10. I’m thankful for the 2009 edition of the Toyota Highlander. We made through another year of you toting me to and from optometric life, buddy! You are truly the Macbook Pro of cars, and I’m firmly convinced that I could fill your tank with dirt and you’d still run like a champ!

Of course, I’m thankful for you, the reader ever-so-eager to consume our pages and fill your cerebrum with practical chairside advice! Without you, there is no us, and we are always looking for ways to better serve you in the future. Reach out and let us know what you need more (or less) of in the new year. Until then, much, much, much love to you.